Science Teacher Speaks at Baccalaureate

Seniors, families and faculty attended the traditional Baccalaureate service on May 20 at First Presbyterian Church, downtown Blairstown. Science teacher, housemaster and coach Rod Gerdsen was chosen by members of the Class of 2009 as their speaker for the evening. His speech follows:

Good evening, and I’d like to welcome you all – students, faculty, parents, Trustees, special guests and – most of all – you, the class of 2009. I am truly honored that you chose me to be one of the final few Blair faculty to formally address you before you leave our community and plague another with your untucked shirts, unshaven faces and too-low blouses. Frankly, after having most of you either in freshmen biology or senior marine science or in the dorm, I would have figured you’ve heard me talk enough. Now, never fear, I have no intention of calling up a series of PowerPoint slides and discussing the structure and function of the mitochondria or the numerous ways that sharks can kill you. I am here simply to share with you some advice that may help you as you graduate and move on to the next exciting chapter in your lives.

But, before I do, please understand that writing a baccalaureate speech isn’t as easy as it may seem. You need to neatly blend 1 part wit, 1 part wisdom and a whole lot of brevity together in a way that keeps the young folks (you guys) alert and awake, the old folks (your parents) in their comfort zone, and my boss (the big guy behind me) pleased with the decision to let me address you tonight. When most people start the process of writing a baccalaureate speech, they come up with a motto, or a tag line. You know, that short phrase or quip that pulls together the essence of your address for all to remember. Unfortunately, I didn’t have one and just couldn’t come up with anything original that meant something on a deeper level. You see, all the best tag lines have already been taken by corporate America, so I was forced to either pay some creative, motivational speaker to come up with an original tag line or, for lack of a better word, plagiarize. I know, I know, copying someone else’s original work for your own benefit is wrong and you all know that, but I thought that maybe there was a loophole I could scoot through, a way around copyright infringement.

So, I went to the only free lawyer I know and asked him his opinion. The usually honorable Q Clarke Esq. and his crack legal team on the 3rd floor of East advised me that if I wanted to steal a tag line from a product or a company, all I had to do was pay for it. It’s like citing a source in a paper, he said. So, throughout my address this evening and for your benefit, I will be accumulating a debt to these corporate giants as I pass on a few words of wisdom to you, with the help of some tag lines – some highly recognizable and some more obscure – but none without a deeper message I hope you carry with you as you leave Blair.

1. Enough procrastinating over writing that paper or asking that special someone out. We really do only go around this earth once, so please don’t miss out on opportunities that arise. Just do it. I understand that there are always excuses to not do something now and put it off until later, but fight that urge, don’t give in to the impulse to go streaking across the quad in college when you should be cranking out that English paper. As much fun as it may seem to scamper nude across your college campus being chased by security, make careful choices and get done what has to get done. Don’t waste the educational gifts you are given and don’t put anything off another day. You may not have it.

2. Where’s the beef? This classic Wendy’s ad from the ’80s (my time and your parents time) may conjure up images of an old lady barely able to see above the counter at some generic burger joint, but I see it as a question pertaining to who you are. What are you made of? What defines you? When you pass on and leave this earthly realm many, many years from now, how will students and faculty remember you? As a loud-mouthed, crass teenager solely focused on yourself? Or, as a young person with an energy that was used in positive ways who learned to perhaps Think outside the bun? Now, if you are the former, is it too late to change your ways? Absolutely not. Your actions and words define you ladies and gentlemen, so think, truly think, about what you are about to do or say before it’s too late. If you don’t, Wikipedia may just develop an unsavory and unfavorable entry for you, complete with a picture of the animal that we biologists know as Equis asinus, or the common donkey. Folks, there are very few “do-overs” in life, so make sure every moment counts and that you treat others with respect and appreciation.

3. Two years ago, there was a big push in Blair’s dining hall to become healthier. They got rid of many of the sugared cereals, limited access to ice cream to only certain days of the week, started to pump out creative deserts (remember the zucchini brownies?), and worst of all, they got rid of my Diet Coke in what is now the juice dispensers. While we all suffered through those dark days in Blair dining history, the message still rings true today. Milk: It does a body good. Your bodies are indeed temples, and so treat them as such. Next year in college, you won’t have formal dinners where ogres like me require you to eat your veggies or at least try a little of everything – you’re going to be on your own, making your own decision to eat that whole pizza at midnight after hours of empty liquid calories at your nearby fraternity or sorority. I want to see you return for Peddie Weekend not with an extra 15 pounds stored away, but with a lean, mean gleam in your eye and a healthy complexion, ready to regale me with stories of your college experiences. Stay healthy, and the wealthy and wise parts will surely come in time.

4. In this day and age of IM’ing, texting, Facebooking and Twittering, remaining close to those special to you is so easy, Even a caveman can do it. I went to a boarding school, Pomfret School in northeast Connecticut, and my friends from there are closer to me now than my college friends. My high school years were formative years for me, and living with a small group of guys in a senior dorm the size of South Cottage was instrumental in shaping who I am today. We studied together, we played sports together, we got into trouble together (and those stories are for when you’re alumni several years removed from tonight).

Look around you right now or think about your Blair friends – in 20 years (which is how long ago I graduated from boarding school), you will have just put your kids to bed – a scary thought I know – and something will trigger a memory of that time at the Peddie Bonfire or the basketball team’s last-second win or your final curtain call and cast party at Mr. Evan’s house. Your memories and experiences of boarding school are integral parts and pieces of your adolescence that you need to hang on to. And don’t worry if the stories aren’t always accurate: ask my wife. She and the other wives of my boarding school buddies simply shake their heads and roll their eyes as we reminisce about our days at Pomfret. That fist-sized water balloon we threw 20 years ago has exponentially grown to the size of a cow udder, and although it may have just barely splashed the headmaster’s shoes, I remember it today as hitting him dead on the head, completely dousing him and soaking him to the bone. Real or imagined, accurate or grossly exaggerated, your own versions of these kinds of stories are what connect you to Blair and to each other, so remain close to your friends and with your school. And, at any random time, Reach out and touch someone.

I realize that what I have said here tonight may drift off into the clouds of emotion that tomorrow and the coming days will bring, so I will conclude with a simple reminder my father always gave me as I was walking out our door to go carousing around town as a teenager – always remember who you are and what you represent.

You are a few short hours away from being official alumni of this school, ambassadors to Blair Academy, shining heralds who will serve as examples of what we faculty have helped cultivate. Make us proud, make your family proud, and make yourselves proud. Blair will be here for you – ever always – and I hope to see you return home to us one day very soon – and remember, we’ll leave the light on for you.

God bless, good luck and good night.

Posted 5/21/09

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